Today I was walking alone in the park. My mantra chosen for October is “I am One and One is all”. I was walking and thinking: “I am the sky. I am the mountains. I am the trees”.
When I moved to the U.S. 3 ½ years ago I felt very disconnected, fragmented. I was looking at people in Utah and I felt hostility… I was not a Mormon (like most people here are), I was not even an American. I had a strong accent. I couldn’t drive. I couldn’t work anywhere before I could get permitted. I was lost. At that time I was not thinking that something was wrong with me, I was thinking that something was wrong with the area where I live and the people seemed fake and not genuinely nice.
We Russians do not smile at strangers in Russia. We only exchange genuine smiles with friends, acquaintances or if we want to flirt or want something. So I didn’t feel that the smiles were genuine. I was experiencing cultural shock.
A few days ago I spoke to one of my American girl friends and she was sharing with me her first impression of me 3 years ago – I was beautiful but cold, closed, and hostile. A very different me from how I am now: friendly, open and loving.
I have realized during my yoga teachers training that I am completely in charge of my own feelings and thoughts… So I gradually started to change and become a better wife, a better friend and a better neighbor. I started to write in my Gratitude Journal.
Everything has changed. I Am In Love With My Life!!!
I love Utah! I love all people!
I walked barefoot in the grass. I walked barefoot on the harsh concrete for about 5 minutes and then went back to the grass and fallen leaves. I felt the grass as if it were a soft down pillow.
Before I have walked in this park a hundred times and never felt so connected to nature, to Mother Earth, because today I was walking with awareness. I even sent a question into the Universe, which was bothering me for a long time and I let it go, allowed the question to fly away. I was not waiting for the answer. I found two amazingly beautiful new places. They are especially stunning in the Fall. I saw my old park as a new friend today. Women were playing with their kids, people were walking, the stream was running, the leaves were falling, and the geese and ducks were honking and quacking. Everything was One. Children’s laugh, the wind, me, sounds of water. Everything. I still didn’t get the answer. But now I feel that it will come in the right moment when I am ready.
I TRUST my life. I am right now exactly where I need to be.
Do not discourage walking in the park by yourself. Alone. Without kids. Without your spouse. Get connected with Oneness. You will receive more than you can ever imagine. Ask a question. You might get an answer or you might not. It doesn’t matter. But I guarantee, you will receive something personal, loving and special from Mother Earth and people who you might meet. Walk with awareness. Open your heart. We are one family.
An affirmation of Human Oneness
I am a member of the human family, a citizen of the world.
The achievements of men and women throughout the ages are my heritage.
My destiny is bound to that of all my fellow human beings.
What we jointly create forms our bequest for future generations.
May my life serve the good for my family.
May our use of the Earth preserve it to those who are yet to come.
Wishing Happiness to You!
P.S. The two pictures of me were taken by my husband last weekend in Snow-basin area. The picture of heart shaped leaf was taken by one of my Facebook friends in the morning on her retreat. Is not it amazing?