Today I was approached by one of my readers to write about HOW exactly to be vulnerable. This woman was concerned that there was a nuisance – being soft but strong. How can we, women be feminine without men feeling like we are needy…
She compared vulnerability with neediness. It sounds so familiar to me… Some or most of us were taught to be independent, to become someone, to build a career so we can provide for ourselves… But while our mothers and grandmothers were teaching us, they forgot that sometimes when you are becoming someone you are not, you are loosing more than you are gaining. We were taught to make practical decisions and always THINK before we FEEL. We were set on a path where there was no room for our authenticity of a true feminine nature.
But the power of a woman is in her “weakness”.
God built a woman in a way that her heart would always be a priority to her. Life starts within a woman and it is a primary purpose of the woman to feel others, comfort others and to get connected with others starting with our own children. To be able to obtain true bond and inner intimacy with others.
Before we get connected to others we should get connected to ourselves and to our true nature. Before we can understand others we need to understand ourselves.
What does it mean to be vulnerable? I have searched Google for an answer and this is what I found: “Vulnerable – helpless, defenseless, powerless, impotent, weak, susceptible”… Those kinds of synonyms are not quite positive and do not inspire me to be one of them!!!
So I have decided to give this word my own description.
Here it is: being vulnerable means first of all to be OPEN about your feelings and fears and be honest. Being vulnerable for a woman means that she CAN rely on her man. It means that she CAN ask for help.
ASKING for help verses DEMANDING something. Nowadays, women have completely forgotten that there is a huge difference between asking and demanding. When we ask something, we should understand that NO ONE HAS TO fulfill our requests. When we ask someone for help, we should expect a positive or negative answer equally. It should not upset us if we ask our men to buy us flowers or help us with dishes and they don’t. Because if it upsets us it means we are demanding it… It may mean we need to learn HOW TO ASK , how to be sweet and polite, vulnerable and open? Tell them exactly and precisely why it is so important to us and to teach them with kind words.
Being vulnerable means asking for help even if we can do it ourselves. It means learning to perform feminine duties and responsibilities (the ones that were feminine for centuries) and asking for help when the situation needs a man’s hand. It means putting an end to being independent in everything and becoming dependant. And when a man sees that we need protection he will be very happy and willing to provide one.
The reason men do not provide protection nowadays is because we, women have learned all too well how to “lead our ships and become captains”. We need to show our men that we need them. The majority of modern men are insecure and ambitionless because modern women actually do not need them. We do not believe in our men. We do not listen to our men. We consider their business ideas crazy or freaky. We see their weakness and we show it to them! We show them that we see how defective and imperfect they are… Instead of focusing on their greatness and strong features. We compete with them and we win!!! But!!!! It doesn’t make anyone happy!!!!
If we do not listen to our men’s minds, how after all can we expect that they will listen to our hearts and buy us vacations and flowers???? :)))) This will never happen.
It seems to me that we, modern women need to relearn how to respect our men and seek their protection.
Here are some great words on vulnerability and quotes I found during my research:
“Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage.” says Brene Brown
“Vulnerability is not weakness. And that myth is profoundly dangerous. Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.” says Brene Brown
“Vulnerability opens the door to deeper connection to one another.” says Gail Lynn Goodwin
“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; To make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength. ” says Criss Jami
I am wishing Happiness to You!