I have been reading and learning more and more about the subject of the Divine Feminine. Meditating…. I have even enrolled myself into a one year program with Sianna Sherman and Ashley Turner, Urban Priestess. Sienna and Ashley are my inspiration and teachers. They are self-made beautiful amazing women and they are successful yoginis. I just felt a strong call in. It was not even a choice. I had to be there. I had to find the money as if it were my mission.

On one of our first online meditations after 5 minutes I bursted into the tears and I was sobbing and weeping. And I do not cry easily. I saw all the scenes from my childhood when my father was very aggressive to us, abusive and it felt like hell! I saw myself as a little girl hiding so I would not get hurt. My mom was crying… My dad was screaming and I remember all the offensive words he was saying to my mom and to us, his daughters. I want to forgive him. I want to let it go. I just do not know how. I know he loves me but i can not talk to him without forcing myself into it.

I still feel that I didn’t forgive him… But I want to and I am working on it.

My father has never told me that I was beautiful and that he loved me until I made him say it last year in an argument. 

He told me that all the boys who liked me were partially gay because I was too skinny to be attractive and I had a flat chest.

He used to say so many offensive things… Without even knowing it. Both of my sisters are broken, work for little money, got married and divorced with very low life men who were addicted to alcohol, gambling, and were very abusive.

How did I become a beautiful woman? It is a mystery. I almost did not have a chance. It is a long story and I might tell it one day.

But for now I do not care what my father says… I know I am beautiful… And I want to help other women to open themselves to their beauty. I learned how to love myself and I am here to share actual steps on how to love yourself and carry your body as a sacred temple. I want to protect women.

Below is a little bit about the Divine Feminine I am trying to reclaim and honor. Maybe you will feel like you also need to heal your wounds. And if you feel it please come!

If you feel like you want to learn a little more about yourself, dig a little deeper into who you truly are as a woman, without a social status, money, degree..

Who are you when you are “naked”?  Who are you when there are no attachments? Without a country, your friends, your family, kids, husband …. WHO ARE YOU? 

If you can not make it but you want to make another time, come and talk to me.

I am here at your service with my open heart.

“At every moment, a woman makes a choice between the state of the queen and the state of the slave girl. In our natural state, we are glorious beings”.

Marianne Williamson

What is your choice?

Maybe it is time to come back to your natural state and begin to shine out. Reclaim your inner goddess. It is there, just waiting for you. Even when you do not feel it. The Divine feminine was suppressed for centuries and centuries. Our mothers did not know how to reclaim their inner goddess and their mothers, and the mothers before them. Some major religions claimed the power of the divine feminine witchcraft and claimed it demonic.

 

It is time to heal our woundedness and brokenness and instead embrace our wholeness. It is time to transform our woundedness into wholeness.

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“We live in a time where the planet is crying for a Divine Feminine, and she is coming. I feel her rising from deep within the earth. I feel her pulsing in my own blood and flesh body. I see her waking up in the eyes of my sisters who are remembering their power and their magic. Everyday I continue to do my practices, gobble my own shadow, and grow more clear and strong in this body-mind vessel. As I step more and more into my wild nature, I grow more fluid and strong, more fierce and open, more loving and more terrifying. The goddess has many faces. She doesn’t need your validation or understanding. She is in nature itself and will not explain herself to you. Worship her! She might bless you or she might destroy. Either way you are lucky, because you will be transformed.

I practice and hold space for the deep planetary shifts that are coming and in many ways are already here. I practice and pray for all my sisters around the globe who have been stripped of their power, abused and degraded. I practice and hold compassionate space for them. “ Sonya Blade

Yours Olya

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